Being Authentic in a World of “I’m Fine”

Being Authentic in a World of “I’m Fine”

Authentic can also be described as genuine, real, and true. There was a time in our world when being authentic was easier. A time when block parties and welcoming neighbors with warm cookies or a casserole were the norm. A time when it was safe for children to play outside until just before the sun goes down. In today’s world, I hear a lot of “we’re good”, “I got this”, or “I’m Fine”. There is so much to  be gained by learning to be vulnerable with others, learning to lean on others in times of need, and allowing others to come along side us for encouragement and to do life with. We are blessed to have a few friends in our life that can be that for us. Friends that we know we can trust. We have a couple of friends we can tell anything to and we know because of our authentic relationship with them the information is safe.  

Let’s face it, life is tough. I attended a conference a couple of months ago and one of the speakers said “if you haven’t experienced great troubles or struggles,  you will”. This comment was in reference to those who work in ministry but it is true of all walks of life. Struggles come in all forms and have differing weights for those whom they happen to. Maybe your struggle is financial, career, parenting or marriage related but our response to our struggles is what determines how those struggles will affect our life. For believers, we must attack those struggles head on and “Make War” in the words of Tedashi. We must not sit by idly and let satan win even one battle in this war. There are a few practical steps we can take to wage this war.

As with many other things, we have to be willing to admit we have a problem. Maybe we have a problem with anger ( as I do at times). I have to be willing and vulnerable enough to share this with people in my life that I trust and who that I know have these same struggles. Then there are more than one of us working together to fight this war and we are more likely to succeed if we aren’t working at it alone. Another reason to share your struggle with others is that what is hidden in the darkness can be used against you by the enemy. But you shed light on it when you share your struggles with others and darkness can not live where light has invaded. Hallelujah!

Now that you have enlisted some soldiers in your war, you have to be willing to hold yourself accountable, seek accountability, and return the favor. The other day I was having a really rough day with my son and I was in tears so frustrated. I texted a friend who I knew would pray for me and speak truth, scripture, and promises of the Lord in to my life and she did. While it did not immediately make things better, it did ensure that later on I wasn’t handling it all on my own. She was there to ensure I had handled myself appropriately and to make sure the father of lies wasn’t busy trying to tell me how horrible of a mother I was because of the day we had. It is because of my real authentic relationship with her that she is on my side.

One last part of this equation is making sure you surround yourself with people who are going to encourage you and build you up not tear you down. You could run to just anyone when you need help but say your problem is with your spouse and you run to a friend who is not a Christian or doesn’t have the same values as you in marriage. You may get advice that does not line up biblically. You may spend the whole time bashing your spouse with this friend instead of coming up with an attack plan to make sure you and your spouse are aligned to fight your battle. Satan would love nothing more than to pit you and your spouse against each other and he can very easily do that by using a third-party who fills your head and heart with things that may or may not be true but are not building you or your marriage up. Reach for those friends who will always encourage you, pray for you, and who do not have a problem calling you out if you are out of line. I have a friend who has permission to call me out any time she feels I am out of line with my words, actions, or even my line of thinking and she has helped me refocus my thoughts on the Lord and reminded me that the fight isn’t between my husband and I but rather it is between satan and my family.

We have to get to a point where we are able to take off our masks and be willing to let others know what we are about and what is going on in our lives. We have to be willing to have at least a few very close people that we can spill all our dirt too and they are our partners to help us through. We also have the responsibility to be the kind of Christians who explore further when a person says “im fine”. This is usually not a truth. It can be but it is usually a way of making small talk. We need to get in there and have real, authentic conversations with those around us to figure out if in fact they are fine, if in fact they really “got this”. I know I don’t “got this” especially not on my own and not without those in my life that help me. 

I challenge each of you this week to access whether or not you have some true, genuine, authentic relationships with others. If you do, do the work to make sure those relationships are in intact because they are important to your growth as a person and as a Christian. If you do not have these people, start praying that the Lord will reveal them to you. He created us to do life in a community setting and he wants our relationships with others to be as authentic and intimate as our relationship with Him.


  1. […] is to talk it over with people who hold me accountable. We have talked about this before in Being Authentic In A World of “I’m Fine” but you have to find people in your life who will keep you in line. People who you trust to share […]

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